“In case there is a loss in cabin pressure, yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. Please secure your own mask before assisting others around you”.
I love this phrase when I hear it on an airplane. I tend not to think of it in a negative way, but rather a reminder for how I should navigate life. The concept being that if you don't first secure your own mask, how will you be able to help those around you? This is how I try to navigate my own personal life. If I don't take the time out everyday to practice self care, I am depleted and not only do I suffer, but my family suffers too!
Many people equate self care with selfishness. As a mom, I definitely used to struggle with that notion. I used to think if I took timeout to take a relaxing epsom salt bath or do a meditation, that somehow I was being selfish because I could be spending that time with my son and husband. However, this selfless approach to living my life was making me so angry on the inside. When I was a full time stay at home mom, my days were spent as the CEO of, well, basically everything that happened in the house. Don't get me wrong, I'm so blessed to have had the financial means to be a full time mom, but I wore myself out being and doing everything. This is where I got real with self care.
When you make time to "put on your oxygen mask," you make the choice to take in what you need first, so you are able to give to your loved ones in your fullest capacity with out feeling worn out or angry. By taking that long bath or relaxing on the couch with a good book for 30 minutes, I felt recharged and ready to give in an authentic and loving way.
"But my life is crazy and I have no time for self care!"
I hear you! I do! But, it's the same concept as the oxygen mask on the plan. Would you say, " there are too many people around me that need my assistance, I don't have time to put mine on first." No, you wouldn't, because you would be passed out and then of no help to anyone. It's the same in life. Making the time to recharge you, will have BIG affects on those around you. So, now that you are no longer carrying that guilt bag around, how do you make the time?
First, come up with a list of 3-5 things that you love to do. Things like a long soak in the tub, a walk/jog, dinner out with friends, a hobby, etc.
Once you have your list, put a time next to each item and a short description of what things would need to be in place to make it happen. For example, if it's a dinner out with friends or a date night, that would be about 1-3 hours and may require a babysitter. If it's a long soak in the tub or a mediation, that could be anywhere from 30 mins plus and may or may not require help from others.
Now it's time to schedule these into your week. Some of your items may require you to get up early, I know, I Know, you do not want to get up any earlier than you have to. However, when you make the effort to say get up 30-45 minuets earlier, you are creating the space for your self care. Give it a week, you will be surprised how your body adjusts. Put these items in your calendar, giving them a designated time and duration. Start with scheduleing one or two of your items in the first week, and see how it feels. You may find that's enough to recharge you, or you may desire more... like everyday!
so here is what a sample may look like....
1. Epsom salt bath- 30 minuets
- things needed- epsom salt, lavender oil, candle, book
- after dinner, Joe to watch kids
- two nights this week, Monday and Sunday- 8-8:30
You deserve some time each day dedicated to just you and you alone!
My hope for you is that you got something out of the time you took today to read this. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email, instagram or comment below. I'd love to know what issues you may struggling with so that I can incorporate them in my future newsletters!